 What is compassion? Compassion, as a concept, can be defined as "attending to the challenges of others, to feel empathy, sympathy, and sorrow for another who is experiencing difficulties and misfortune, and the desire to assist in alleviating their distress in solidarity with them” (1). It is a Buddhist concept that has existed for years but has only been given the attention it deserves in the last twenty years or so (5,10). It may be interesting to hear antonyms of compassion, which are in fact ‘heartlessness’, ‘indifference’ and ‘coldness’, to name a few. These strong, abstract nouns show how compassion is taking a kind but active interest in others’ pain to help reduce it. Interestingly, this can be for people we know as well as people we do not, opening the possibilities of how compassionate we can be as individuals (2). There can be confusion around the difference between compassion and other abstract nouns such as ‘empathy’ and ‘sympathy’, as they are often used synonymously or to define each other. To define empathy, “an empathetic person might or might not respond with a compassionate action when they take on and experience the emotions of another human being” and sympathy relates to being aware of someone’s experience but staying in a different emotional state (3). It is therefore less known that compassion, for others and yourself, is in fact a stand-alone skill that someone can develop and acquire through practice (4). What is self-compassion? Now that compassion has been defined, we can turn to self-compassion. Dr Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, defines it as “the process of turning compassion inward” (5). Like we would a friend, we address our mistakes, insecurities or fears with kindness and encouragement, in a non-judgemental way. When we do this, our chances of achieving our goals and growing as an individual increase greatly because we reduce the pressure we put on ourselves to be on ‘top form’ all of the time. One important note that Neff makes is that self-compassion is not the same as self-pity or self-indulgence; there are very different concepts.  Self-compassion is linked to self-love, self-esteem, self-kindness and many other forms of personal growth and development. Due to this, for someone to be a compassionate person, they must first understand and practice self-compassion, otherwise it is less likely that their compassion for others will be genuine (6). Although this seems harsh, consider situations you have been in where you have had to explain or demonstrate a skill or concept without time to practice or learn about it yourself. It is hard to adequately explain it or teach it to the other person in a way that is useful. Compassion works very much in the same way; therefore, it needs to practiced on ourselves before we can give it to others (6). Why do we need self-compassion?Research around self-compassion is growing as information on the concept’s benefits grows in popularity amongst psychologists, therapists, and health and wellbeing experts. Although there is still much to be discovered, there are commonalities in the research relating to the importance of self-compassion. According to Neff, “higher levels of self-compassion are linked to increased feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connectedness, as well as decreased anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure” (7). Being a self-compassionate individual has also been linked to helping you become more of your authentic self, which is classified as being your ‘true self’ (8). By being able to accept yourself for who you are, through the use of kind words, understanding and patience, self-compassion can work as the internal friend you’ve always needed. Self-compassion in the context of University University life can be incredibly challenging at times, with competing deadlines, unfamiliar social situations, fears around delivering presentations and being assessed in a multitude of ways. This is aside from the external factors that impact on students such as work responsibilities, relationships, family life and of course, the repercussions of the Covid pandemic. It is therefore not hard to understand why so many students experience burnout and why we are amid a student mental health crisis (9, 11). Considering this, practicing self-compassion and other forms of self-care can help students feel more in control of their wellbeing, which will likely have a positive impact on their university experience. This is in part down to the students to take ownership of their wellbeing. But it is also the university’s responsibility, specifically the health and wellbeing team, to provide guidance, support and potentially courses relating to self-compassion and self-care (11). How can we give compassion?  Below are suggestions for how to give yourself and others compassion, taken from research. These may not work for everyone but they could be something to try if you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or you are experiencing negative self-talk and negative thoughts.
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References
1) Plante, T.G. (2016). Compassion. In: Zeigler-Hill, V., Shackelford, T. (eds) Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-28099-8_1055-1 2) Strauss, C. et al. (2016) “What is compassion and how can we measure it? A review of definitions and measures,” Clinical Psychology Review, 47, pp. 15–27. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2016.05.004. 3) Compassion vs. empathy: What's the difference? - 2023 (no date) MasterClass. Available at: https://www.masterclass.com/articles/compassion-vs-empathy (Accessed: March 7, 2023). 4) Mascaro, J.S. et al. (2020) “Ways of Knowing Compassion: How Do We Come to know, understand, and measure compassion when we see it?,” Frontiers in Psychology, 11. Available at: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.547241. (5) Neff, K.D. (2022) Self- compassion. Available at: https://self-compassion.org/ (Accessed: March 7, 2023). 6) How to practice self-compassion (article) (no date) Therapist Aid. Available at: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-article/how-to-practice-self-compassion (Accessed: March 8, 2023). (7) Neff, K.D. (2009) “The role of self-compassion in development: A healthier way to relate to oneself,” Human Development, 52(4), pp. 211–214. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071. (8) Zhang, J.W. et al. (2019) “A compassionate self is a true self? self-compassion promotes subjective authenticity,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 45(9), pp. 1323–1337. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218820914. 9) Warnings of mental health crisis among 'Covid generation' of students (2022) The Guardian. Guardian News and Media. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/jun/28/warnings-of-mental-health-crisis-among-covid-generation-of-students (Accessed: March 8, 2023). 10) Neff, K.D. (2011) “Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being,” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), pp. 1–12. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00330.x. 11) The Mental Health Crisis in colleges and Universities (no date) Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/zero-generation-students/202302/the-mental-health-crisis-in-colleges-and-universities (Accessed: March 8, 2023). 12) Using Affirmations (no date) MindTools. Available at: https://www.mindtools.com/air49f4/using-affirmations (Accessed: March 8, 2023). 13) Affirmations (2015) Louise Hay. Available at: https://www.louisehay.com/forgiveness/ (Accessed: March 8, 2023).
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